Irrelavant Hesitations
Life was Life
Until the 4th of July
Then, it was as if a knife
Sliced through the Lie
That my world had become…
Suddenly all my defenses, securities and convictions
All of it- came utterly undone…
Uncertainties and impossible contradictions
Took over
Questions smothered my mind
Who am I?
What am I?
Why did she die
Before I got a chance-
to say good-bye…?
Hatred filled my heart
Consumed all contemplation
All rational thought drawn apart
Leaving total discombobulation
Of everything right and wrong
I awoke at three
Every dawn
Expecting to see
The solutions
To my questions, demands, and accusations.
Though entirely
Unavailable… unattainable…
So many emotions absolutely unexplainable…
What difference does it make?
If she gave me my temperament, my looks, or abilities…
But the uncertainty caused me to lie awake
Night after night
As the hostilities
Invaded my very being
Even though I know
-Logically speaking
This turbulent flow
Is straight irrelevant
To life
But I just can’t
Seem
To move forward…
Until I’ve resolved
The historical record…
Of those ivolved.
Where I came from?..
What is…What should have been…
What was- How I could’ve lived…
What fits…
To find me
To live my life
To finally
Know everything
And who I really be…
posted by Chozelie at
4:30 PM
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